Part II: Creating a Support System When You’re Given a Serious Diagnosis
Create Your Support System
If you have a serious illness, you will need to create a support system. Not just for you, but if you have a spouse and children, they will need support as well. For example, if you cannot drive the kids to their after-school activities, will your spouse do the extra driving or can you count on a family member or good friend? According to a few health psychologists, family and friends want to do a lot.
Create a Secondary Support System
You’ll need a secondary support system for your immediate family. For example: You are a mother with two kids and you have cancer. You currently take care of your kids and when you are undergoing chemotherapy treatments, let’s say your spouse takes over. Who supports your spouse while you are recuperating? Ask your advocate to help you figure this out.
Find a Health Psychologist
If you are able to see a therapist, preferably a health psychologist, you’ll be happy you did. If you have a serious diagnosis, there are many sources of information and support that an experienced therapist can help you with. A health psychologist can help you sort through your concerns and questions about your illness or condition. Also, it can be very helpful to have someone listen to you who is not personally involved in your illness or condition. Some health psychologists also function as professional advocates.
Take Care of Your Emotional Health
If you have a serious illness or chronic medical condition, several doctors suggested the importance of getting therapeutic support to help you deal with it. Processing what you are going through with a trained professional can be an important part of healing. Seeing a therapist does not mean you are weak. In my opinion, it shows strength to reach out for help from a professional.
It’s not uncommon for depression, hopelessness, anxiety, anger, and other feelings to accompany a serious illness or medical condition. This can be a challenging time in your life. Reach out to trusted loved ones and ask for their support.
Join a Support Group
Consider finding a support group of people who share your medical condition or illness. You can exchange information and resources with other members. It will help you to connect with people who are going through what you are. You can find out about good doctors and treatments from members of the support group. You can also learn about clinical trials that other members are participating in and explore side effects, treatment and outcome.
Develop Support Networks
As part of your journey, you may want to gather support from your loved ones and also share your progress with family and friends without calling or emailing each one individually. There are many opportunities for people who are experiencing a significant health challenge and want to connect to their loved ones. For example, Caring Bridge (www.caringbridge.org) and CarePages (www.carepages.com) offer private space where you can post your story, along with updates on your health, photos and more, for your family and friends. They can leave messages for you. These sites have been developed to be easy to set up and are user friendly. You control access to your pages, so they can be as private or public as you wish. Meal Train (www.mealtrain.com) makes it easy for you or your advocate to organize the delivery of meals when you need them. Your friends and family sign up to prepare meals, the menu is available for all to see, and you can list dietary restrictions and preferences.
Phone trees are another way to let your loved ones know when you have tests and results and want to provide updates on your progress and other information. After you create a list of people you want to include on the tree, you can assign a point person to whom you give the information you want passed on. She calls x number of people on the list and updates them as you have requested. They, in turn, contact x more people, and so on.
Create Your Health File
Put together your health file now. Your health file will include copies of your pertinent medical records, test results, copies and reports of MRIs and other scans, a list of your current medica-tions and their dosages, and a list of over-the-counter medications, including herbs and supplements. It will contain names and contact information for doctors you see for your current illness or condition. Describe any alternative medicine treatments you are undergoing and name the practitioners you see. Not only will this allow your doctors to see your medical history and current medical status, but it will also give you a sense of control.
By taking charge of your medical records and information, you are empowering yourself and becoming a take-charge patient. Take-charge patients feel more confident, less helpless and less vulnerable to the medical system they are dependent upon.
Create a Medical Journal
Going through a serious illness or chronic medical condition re-quires a steep learning curve on your part, as you will be learning a new language and how to navigate a new world. Taking notes on new doctors, terminology, possible treatments, new research, possible medications and more can help keep you organized and focused.
Your medical journal is also for keeping track of your symptoms and side effects, creating questions for your doctors, noting answers to your questions, and for anything you think of regarding your condition that you might want to refer to later.
Empower Yourself as a Take-Charge Patient
If you are diagnosed with a serious illness or chronic medical condition, part of your battle is to maintain hope, confidence and a sense of control. Control is the key word because the more you can control as a patient, the more empowered you feel.
Tips for Becoming Empowered